Book Review – The Introvert Advantage

In our household we spent several years where we only got books from the library and hardly purchased any books. Ever since finishing my MBA, we’ve budgeted $40 a month for books, allowing each of us to buy roughly one book per month. My wife and I both just finished reading ‘The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive in an Extrovert World’ by Marti Olsen Laney and think it’s worth checking out. I almost gave it four stars but settled on three since I lost interest about 2/3 of the way through the book after the main points were delivered. This is likely because the target audience for the book is introverted people and while I too have many introverted tendencies, I don’t consider myself an extreme introvert. Those with stronger introvert leanings may get a lot more out of this book.

On the other hand, Mrs. DIY$ is an extreme introvert, I am the more outgoing person in our relationship by far. We’ve found that we balance each other out well, causing each other to occasionally experience things that we may not have done on our own. I tend to be the one who wants to go to social gatherings or explore new things where she is generally content to do things she is comfortable with and already knows. Her introversion strongly contrasts with some of our friends who seem to be constantly on the go and never taking time to relax.

As a result of her introversion (and both of our disinterest in being part-time chauffeurs), our kids are not involved in pretty much any extra-curricular activities or sports. If they express interest in joining we’ll support them, but aren’t actively pushing anything other than my teaching the occasional piano lesson or a monthly, one afternoon STEAM (science, technology, engineering, art, and math) club challenge. Our home is her sanctuary and since I do most of the grocery shopping she could easily go a week without leaving the house. We’ve always joked that she is a bit of a hermit but this book helped us both recognize that some of these traits aren’t necessarily unique to her but are shared by many introverted people. It also helped me to understand her better and to understand how and why she can be ready to leave a party when I’m just starting to get into it.

Perhaps the main thing I took away from this book is how to spot an introvert and the various tips for engaging introverts or using ones’ own introversion to advantage in personal as well as professional relationships. Introversion is often confused with shyness, but they are not the same thing. Introversion is most easily identified by what types of activities are needed for someone to ‘recharge’. Introverts can be outgoing and social and many public figures are actually introverts. The key is that social activities drain energy from an introvert while they may energize their extroverted counterparts. Introverts require longer periods of rest to recover from social interactions where extroverts feel antsy if they go too long without one.

I consider a book good if I learn something new and great if it is written in such a way that I can’t put it down. This book passes the first test and is good for anyone looking to better understand introverts, either yourself or someone close to you. If I were closer to the target audience of introverts I think it could have been more engaging, as shown by my introverted wife commenting while reading that she felt that the author was writing specifically about her and some of her innermost thoughts and feelings.

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